The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos · Episode 40 · October 19, 2026 · 52 min
Why Happiness Experts Still Struggle to Be Happy with Dr. Ethan Kross
You might assume that people who study happiness for a living have it all figured out. But even happiness experts struggle to follow their own advice. They know the science behind feeling happier, managing difficult emotions, and building healthier habits — but putting that knowledge into practice is another story. Why is it so hard to do the things we know are good for us? In a live conversation recorded at SXSW, Dr. Laurie gets personal with her good friend, psychologist Ethan Kross , about the times they've struggled to practice what they preach. Together, they explore the psychological biases that can get in our way and share science-backed strategies for managing difficult emotions, building better habits, and turning that knowledge into action. Experts Mentioned: Ethan Kross , Professor of Psychology at the University of Michigan Tamar Gendler , Professor of Philosophy and Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences at Yale University Gabriele Oettingen , Professor of Psychology at New York University and the University of Hamburg Carey Morewedge , Professor of Marketing at Boston University Christina Maslach , Professor Emerita of Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley Kristin Neff , Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin Resources Mentioned: Shift: Managing Your Emotions — So They Don't Manage You , by Ethan Kross (2025) Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It , by Ethan Kross (2021) “ Knowing is Half the Battle ,” by Laurie Santos and Tamar Gendler ( Edge , 2014) Müller-Lyer Illusion “ Exploring Solomon’s Paradox: Self-Distancing Eliminates the Self-Other Asymmetry in Wise Reasoning About Close Relationships in Younger and Older Adults ,” by Igor Grossmann and Ethan Kross ( Psychological Science , 2014) WOOP: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation , by Gabriele Oettingen (2014) “ Thought for Food: Imagined Consumption Reduces Actual Consumption ,” by Carey Morewedge, Young Eun Huh, and Joachim Vosgerau (Science, 2010) “ Forming a flossing habit: an exploratory study of the psychological determinants of habit formation ,” by Gaby Judah, Benjamin Gardner, and Robert Aunger ( British Journal of Health Psychology , 2013) How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be , by Katy Milkman (2021) Burnout: The Cost of Caring , by Christina Maslach (1982) Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself , by Kristin Neff (2011) “ Self-Perception Theory ,” by Daryl J. Bem ( Advances in Experimental Social Psychology , 1972) “Emotion Controllability Beliefs and Young People's Anxiety and Depression Symptoms: A Systematic Review ,” by Matthew Somerville, Helen MacIntyre, Amy Harrison, and Iris Mauss ( Adolescent Research Review , 2024) “ Implicit theories of emotion: Affective and social outcomes across a major life transition ,” by Maya Tamir, Oliver John, Sanjay Srivastava, and James Gross ( Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 2007) Related Episodes: “ For Whom the Alarm Clock Tolls ” “ Harnessing People Around us to Feel Happier (Live with Ethan Kross) ” “ Coach Yourself Through a Crisis ” “ Don’t Accentuate the Positive ” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.