Voicemail Dump Truck 51

Oh my goodness, gracious, how excited is everybody to take a dump? The last one of the last dumps for this calendar year twenty two. I got a bunch of me. But don't worry. Make sure you do your business before the end of the year, because it's a long break without having a dumb Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Voicemail Dump Truck. My name is Jeff Backle, our very special episode. Today we are joined by Dan Reicher. Hello, Dan, Hi, that's me. Hello, wonderful news. Jeff grub how are you, sir? I'm great, I'm doing good, excellent. And finally the one, the only, our good buddy, the wind bag Henry, how are you, sir? Thank you for joining us. How are you? It's it's a boy. This. I've missed what it felt like to be on Giant Bomb. It really does feel like something. This feels different. I really love this. It's great to be back. Hi. Something that's exactly what we say. Yeah, yeah, I like that. There we go. Oh very good. Yeah. Jan is rocking the dump truck. He's driving it from the back seat today, which is probably a safety hazard, probably some sort of traffic violation. You guys have that nightmare. I have that nightmare sometimes where I'm driving from the car from the back seat. Yeah before, Yeah, plane dreams. I had a bunch of plane dreams last night. But you were just recently on a plane. That makes sense? Yeah, No, I haven't, like, no matter how far from a plane I am. I think I have just a terrifying chats that nightmare. Check gets it? Check gets me. You guys don't get me. Check Does I think we're gonna have to pivot and unpack the psychotic nightmares of Dan Reicherd. Wait, you have a so you have a back seat driving and a plane nightmare like a reoccurring so the thing going on? I have a lot of driving nightmares too. It's just like I I'm not driving and I assume I'll die in a fiery crash on the highway, and if that ever happens. Feel free to show this clip as a really ominous portending. Is that a word portending? The right word portending? I don't No, it's sounds like a word it does. I don't want to say I don't know any better than you. I'm pretending like I know better than you. I don't fiery highway crash after saying that's all I'm saying, be ironic and weird and sad. Right on this podcast, it'd be sad. I'm very afraid of driving on the highway, and so I have a lot of dreams where I'm out of control with a with a car and stuff like that and I'm getting into a wreck. The driving from the backseat thing is weird. Has anyone else ever had that dream? I mean, that's what's chats out there saying they've had it. It's I think it's just a h you're feeling out of control. I feel out of control, and I'm feeling that way right now because I'm I'm bleeding a little bit on this show. My hand at get it up there, get it up in the game. Yeah, it's good. The okay, well I punched the wall, but let's be very's like, let's okay, not on and not. I did it while trying to lay down on a bean bag and I my hand just kind of went past the bean bag and hit the brick wall. Now, the worst part is it's faux brick. It's not even real brick. It's that you know, very sharp and it just injured me. But I was so tired and sleepy, and I'm just like, oh, well, I'm just gonna like here bleed a little bit. Like that's that's just gonna be my Thursday. I don't think anyone's ever got busted open trying to sit in a bean bag. Well, I mean, listen, I'm a pioneer if nothing else. Absolutely, Uh wow, I don't know how you follow that up? We have the wind bag? He can? I can? I have a recurring dream I was just thinking about. It's very strange. I'd like to throw it out there. Just see. I have a recurring dream where I open up my contact lens case to put my contacts in and there are two and I can't tell which one is the one. And then an alternate version of that dream is where there's a contact lens but it's somehow expanded and swollen to the point where I can't fit it back in my eye. Why would you try to put it in your eye if it's that big big? No? No, yeah, like a quarter like it like like the size of a quarter. And then I'm like, oh, it's gotta work. This one's got to work. Yeah. No, For some reason, it's like my only one left does is that? Does you guys ever have contact lens? No? I don't. I don't wear them. I can't. I'm too much of a of a woss. I can't do it. I'm a little baby with stop wearing him. Because in fifth grade, I was watching mad TV with my friend John and one of my contacts floated up behind my eyeball and his dad had to like take a flashlight and like do a whole thing where you like opened up my eyelid and like put a finger in there and like he got his finger around the back of my eye to get the No, he didn't, And I was like, I think I'm good with glasses. I could do glasses. Wait, first of all, everyone knows if a contact lens floats to the back of your eyeball, you just somehow swallow it. Everyone knows that cough it up. Everyone knows that that back there, it's just one big mush swamp in the back of your head. It's like the brain, the eyes, and then the swamp area. I'll just loose back there. It's all just like I'm just in just picturing like Dan's friend's dad up to his knuckle inside your ocular cavity, just sort of like poking around, but the fun probably didn't get to the back, but it felt like it, and it was deeply uncomfortable. I don't like I stuff. I don't wear contacts. My daughter does, and we have to put hers in and she is just five. She's been wearing him since she's been four months old, so we're pretty used to at this point. I surprised I don't have nightmares about that, about like putting those in and taking those out, because that is a hell of a thing. But honestly, it's it's so traumatizing when we're just doing it normally. Why do I mean nightmares about it? I don't buy that whole shirting or cat thing. Yeah, I'm sure you don't. What do you mean you don't buy it? It's not something you can buy, it's not it's actually not for sale, you know. I'm saying that, like in the whole thing, like you don't know if there's a cat in the box or not, Like probably lift it up up right correct where simultaneously exists and doesn't exist. Like that's insane because if I put a I don't have a cat. I put a box over gizmo, my dog. He's in there. He's not in some alternate universe, not in the box. I literally I watched him go in the box, Like I just don't understand. I don't understand what that's trying to. That's the whole point. It's it's it is not It is not like evidence that the world is around. I'm not believing a damn thing. But it's not a context. The world's round, man one other on this, I always believed, even my dumbest youth, I've always known, not believed that the world is around. There's so much evidence. Great Shorterer's cat is not an intelligence test. It's like a metaphysical sort of like metaphor for like what everything, But what's the point, Like you know that you know it's a metaphor. It's a it's a metaphor for quantum superposition. It's not really the cat. The cat is a live end dead. That the idea is not that it's not there. It's just that it's a live end dead because so they put this machine in there that either poisons the cat or doesn't, and it's based on something that is simultaneously likely to happen, and so it is and it isn't simultaneously, but it has to be one or the other. It can't be observe it. Once you observe it, it is one or the other. Yes, you know, look at it. The cat's alive or dead. It's one or the other. Yeah, yeah, yes, I wouldn't. You're not even saying anything that we are disagreeing with. Yes, you observe it. The point of this cat experiment until you observe it. Yeah, And it's also it also I think it leans into the like how reality is infinitely breaking off into infinite amounts of dimensions at the same time, like there's an infinite amount of Yeah, people like to attach that to I think that was in the latest patch notes. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean, look, either way, you might get a dead cat out of the whole thing, so that's yeah, that's good. Anyway, I don't want to do this. I'm partaking this. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. It's fine, it's fine. You don't have to worry about it. This is not back to school. This is not something you need to concern yourself with. Uh, Henry, how you been man, What's what's been going on? Oh? It was well. It was good. I don't like to I don't like to talk about it because I don't want to make a big deal. I did get the COVID. I don't think I am responsible for getting it. I think it got me. I think I think the terminology is all wrong. I think I think COVID catches you eventually. I don't think you can't. I don't. I didn't catch it, but it was yeah, And so I'm coming out of the COVID fog. I think some of my shows reflect this. We I took an entire week off and only played reruns of twenty fourteen, which I think some of my viewers appreciate it. Now I'm getting slowly inching back into narrative continuity a little bit. And so the last week we've been dealing with some legal issues and I've been trying to take my mind off of it. And oh, we did lose. We did lose a real a big member of our community, Checkers, the pig that dress is up like a chicken, passed away. It was very, very it was a very difficult time. Rip. Big rip for Checkers. Sorry, big rip for Checkers. Sorry to hear that. But shows are still going on. Uh, and everyone can expect you back here. Uh, sooner than later. Right, Oh, well, that's that's great. I'm saving all my good stuff for Giant Bomb. I want you to know. Let's really but it's really good. Yes, everything else according to shit you've heard, you've heard. No effort is the main thing I would say is, yeah, no promises, no promises. I did I have, though, I've delayed a couple of things, some special things that I thought my might go very well with the channel. So I'm looking out for you, guys. But time's taking. The time is taking, guys. Serious, Yes, guys, all right, we's goot clocked in for the first time. I talked to you on a discord call here when we first started talking about bringing on Giant Bomb. I was fascinated by like just seeing the room there, because like where you are sitting is a lot of different places on Friday night forking, and so to see where you were actually occupying physical space was weirdly fascinating for me. Thank you. This is a very small closet space and it, you know, inside contains some multitude of locations. Yeah. I had a friend who wanted to get into streaming, recently and was asking about equipment and I said like, well, it depends on like kind of how how elaborate you want to get with it. And he's like, well, I mean, you know, no less than what the wind bags used. And I want to go the joke. The joke he was saying was that like he thought you were doing like a massive production, but like, am I right? Do you want to have the one camera? One camera, two monitors and of and of and a clunky old PC? And I tell you what We're We're working hard. We're gonna upgrade one of these days, but for now, we like it what it is. We like how it is. You are a wizard. Seriously, thank you, thank you. I will I will like to say, I will. I do enjoy I get the question a lot. I use my keyboard on my computer and if you look at your keyboard, imagine all the keys are about triple hot keyed. And so that's kind of the idea of that's how we do it. Wow, no less than three hundred hot keys. Like wrap my brain around that. Still, But I like, when you are doing this stuff, it's either you have it all memorized or do you have like a little buttons like a little pieces of paper on the keys or is it just like no, I know where that button is where I need it, I have to look, I have to look down to make sure, you know, like the ones next to each other. But I can I can certainly navigate some of it without looking at it, you know. And uh, you know, I've got my for instance, uh one through zero on the top of your keyboard. Those are all my music files and and so like each each one is a folder containing a different genre of music that is appropriate to a different done you know. So, and so those can be swapped out, and a lot of things now now the game is swapping things out. So like, for instance, I have a I have a fun thing where I ring it up, or it will say show up. It'll go like chitching, or sometimes it'll say car wash, or sometimes it'll be lightning striking me. So every day I have a list of things that I swap out to keep the show fresh. So like yesterday was the like the ring it up sound, Today could be car wash or lightning, And so I just drop it dropped the file in under the same name, and it says you want to replace this, so OBS reads it that same thing, so it's the same hotkey. Okay, Wow, that's clever. Yeah. Have you ever had to move to a new computer before, Like, have you ever had to move your obs like profiles? No? I switched early on. If you look at my Instagram, you can see early on, I was just from from the camera on an iPod like an Apple Air. I was streaming from there. And then I when I got out the PC, I switched it all over and had to do all that stuff. And yeah, that takes forever. Or if I ever accidentally like change the ratio or the resolution, everything has to be done like re Yeah, that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare. So I've I've learned to like stay away from those things. And and you know, you know that's why swapping out really helps, you know what I mean. There's there's something I have to ask you that my my son's been asking me ever since he laid eyes on your stream, and I didn't really have an answer. I had a suspicion. Uh, he wants to know the one question. Obviously he knows it's not a loop, but what he does want to know is the bell reel. Oh yeah, you guys want to see the bell, Yeah, it is, that's all is real ager that little bell. Yeah, everything is everything is you know, once it gets added to the show, it sort of becomes part of it. The like the pens from the bank started off as literally just pens from the bank and then it became became a thing. But the bell is car very real. The cardboard flute. Yeah. The the scary things is when when things fall in place and you go, oh my god, I'm so lucky for some reason. When I just one time, I just threw all these audience sounds in a folder and then I press a button and it randomizes whether it's a boo wow I wonder. Yeah, And so that's one of my favorite things because that's spooky, how how good it is, Like I've never had to remove any or put any in the mix. The I don't know what the it's a special proportion or of like booze to cheers robably couldn't deliberately do that exactly. You needed some RG you know, RNG there. I'll figure that out. Yeah. So yeah, what what happens is is I'll be performing the show and I'll have my left hand on my switch button for side host and myself. So I'll switch to side host and I'll talk, and then I'll switch back and then hit it with my thumb the audience button. So whatever happens I'm reacting to, I don't know if it's going to be a boo or or and so I have to hit it again because sometimes it'll tail off. You know, Timing is everything, So if you can get good at it, then you can know when to hit it, drop it and take it out and then that stuff so cool, man, No one does it like you. We appreciate you. You being here, man, it's it's a pleasure you guys. You guys are that. You guys have made everything possible. It's been a wonderful experience working with you guys. Hell yeah, likewise likewise for sure. All right, what do you say? We all collectively dump now and pop open a couple voicemails curated by the one and only Janel CHOA. Seven H seven exit flu is our phone number. That's right, I've given out this number and people don't believe me, but that is the phone number. Seven O seven exit flu. Uh. We're gonna give our guest of honor the first crack at choosing from our list voicemail, so winbag. Please choose the first voicemail. Okay, clearly there's been I pulled up the chat. I popped out the chat, but I don't know where where you looking. If you have the video open, you'll see he just put it. He just made it live in the video. But he also gave you the list of files in our chat here if you want to look at that. Okay, either want will be good. If someone wants to go first, I'm so sorry I didn't. I get self conscious, so I turned off the stream. Let me go look at it, and then you guys, you guys go first. All right, we'll go to Dan first. Dan, while Henry's figuring and all that out, pick the voice the first voicemail. Please let's go with uh, let's go with beer dot MP three, Hey dumbers, listen, was us the Baccala. I sold craft beer for about fifteen years of my sales career, work person companies like Dogfish Head and and Left Hand and Yingling and Budweiser. And listening to your story about knowing the beer and being that consumer that le has an affinity with a ticket of beer is absolutely fucking hilarious because that is so true and myself being craft beer enthusiast man, like, there's what There is definitely a difference between like sister, regular beer guy and then you're beer consumer that loves the products. So like, right on, jaff for being yourself and being cooled because a lot of us industry like don't like those people. But I say, fuck, that's awesome to hear like a tyheart beer guy. So right on, guys, keep dupin and uh, okay, take care. Well, I thank you compliment, right, I'm trying to determine how much of a backhanded compliment that was. I'm like, that was a pretty backhanded Most people hate snobs like you, but I can basically no, but he's listened. Your head's not that far up your ass. It's just to write them out up your ass. It's like it's yeah, right, I can't tell. I've never had someone give me such an upside down compliment like no. I mean, I think he was sincere, and I think that I think that he truly is. I think he likes to hear the way you talk about beer because he recognizes it. He's familiar with it. But he also knows that typically when people start talking that way around like the other kinds of beer people, the douche chills just run up their arms and they're like, this is unavoidable. This is what happens. So here's the thing, right, I think it's a very fine line, right, Like I think the barrier, like I think, you know, the low end like beer drinker per like, that's where everyone exists. And then in between like the insufferable shit headcraft person and the normal thing. That's the that's the the zip code that I occupy where I'm like, I'm okay about it, and I think I'm just gonna go ahead and say that's where I exist. Dan, you seem to disagree. For the record. Look, I've drank with you plenty, and you are the guy that, like, when I have my butt light will be like, oh, I might as well drink your pea water. Oh you're not gonna get drunk. I know you're basically drinking water. Oh garbage. Will. I'm just trying to channel your dad when I have that energy, say yeah, I think right, Pacifico. When he acts like I'm ordering the fanciest beer in Spain or something, a whole other onion layer to peel back but yeah, go ahead. No, that was my thought was that you you are that guy that will be cool, you're but lighten. Yeah, And I think this is very like the other side of Paul Record. It's like the evil version of him if you you kind of have the beard and he doesn't. Right, So it's like, yeah, yeah, you're like the evil Gotee version of him. Bizarre. Yeah, actually you're both evil and that in that context. But uh, yeah, I think what what he's trying to say here is it's nice to hear someone who also enjoys beer actually talking about it in a way that is uh knowledgeable. At the very least. You're not making up what you what you say when you're talking about beer. You're not pretending to be into beer because you think it makes you interesting. You legitimately like good beer, and that's that's fine. You do be yourself in that case. Oh thanks Grub. That makes me feel good. I feel like it's okay to like nice things like yeah, I think it's o kind of like shit things too. That's where I'm at. I mean, you know, fuck, if you want to drink drink, are you are you into Kraft stuff? Mister Winbeg how do you How do you feel about the craft beer? I don't. I always intend to you view alcohol as accessory to whatever mood I'm in. So some some sometimes I'm in like a by the way, how'd you like that prepared line? And that great? I've said that before. I've said that. I've said that before, I've man Okay, I'm gonna lean forward here and listen to what he's got to say about that right off, right off the cuff. No, No, but I do. I said it recently. Someone was like, what was what's your go to drink? And I was like, I think it's more of an accessory to whatever mood I'm in. So if I'm playing pool and shooting darts, it could be any kind of beer and whiskey. If it's a I'll enjoy a craft beer only out of curiosity, I'll be like, what could that taste like? But I don't. I don't really crave anything specifically. It's unless I'm in the mood for something specific like it. So yeah, stupid answer. Yeah, No, not a stupid answer, because that makes sense. I mean I was just like a shock house the other night, and I'm like, I can't have a beer. Here drink a craft ipa at a steakhouse. I get those martoonis there? I don't even know at that point. No, I really don't know that Is that a rule that you're not a rule? Like you're definitely a I think most people drink wine. I mean it's like a rule, like you know, you got to keep the salad fork there, Like is it etiquette? I don't know. You could do whatever the hell you want. I think most people enjoy a red wine with steak, But for me, I like a I like a vodka martini with with wine with a steak rather. So let's do it anyway. Thank you, caller, Thank you for the voicemail. We're gonna flip back around too, mister winbag. Do you have a selection, sir? I do. The popcorn has got me really interested. We're going to eat popcorn. I'm curious about that. Okay, we're gonna eat some popcorn. That's it. That's that's great. That's that's what. That is a real good one. That's a that's a I mean, I uh so, how long is the outgoing message of like how like does it say like, Hi, you've reached giant bomb, please leave your voicemail for a voicemail dump thanks for calling. Is it like it's longer than the voicemail we just heard, right, Jane, how long? Is that? Pretty much? It's like a robot voice, right, it's what we still use, the robot voice. I think it's a custom message. It pretty much just says leave a voicemail. That's it, and it's yeah, shorter the better. Uh listen. That was probably something I will be playing for my family, who all love popcorn very much. I will be sending this to tone to them when I'm like announcing to the family that I'm gonna make popcorn. So thank you for that. We're gonna eat some popcorn. There. There's something about like it's it's it's fine, it's a good sound by it. I'm happy we did it. I'm proud of the caller, Thank you caller. But for Henry's first, well, I have some feelings. I have some more questions. Is this is is it? Has it happened? Is there precedent for leaving a voicemail like that of that length and then it becoming a meme of itself? Is that like it couldn't the caller have thought or was we we have a guy that does like Hall and Oates but replaces lyrics with stuff about p and uh there's no context to it or whatever. But like that has kind of turned into a recurring things, right like you're he sings a good chunk of the song. Yeah, yeah, you're on my list. That kind of thing. Your basis on my list. It's been my head forever since we heard it. I'm not gonna feel good till till winbeg. You get to pick another voicemail, because I want your first one to be something memorable. I look, we all have popcorn. We all have popcorn. But all right, then I will go with I'm gonna steal this one just because I love it so much constantly coming out. There's so many things going there. I like that. Sure, hey doppers so uh janitor anyway, I'm calling because whenever I do physical activities, my body, for whatever reason, it decides to spell guests from both beds, and I'm curious, is not a thing that you guys deal with? Is that a thing other people deal with? Because man, isn't embarrassing. You're running around, you having a good time, and all you're doing you're just farting and burp, and it's just constantly coming out right, left and or I should say up and down, up and down. But you get the idea was happening to you, guys, he does something weird happen with you that isn't this, but it's something else, like like anyway, thanks have we gon holiday body. I'm glad he clarified the burping and farting because when he first said coming out the front and the back or both ends or whatever, I was picturing the fart and then the thing that's on the other side of the hemisphere there it comes. No, yeah, everyone, that's disgusting. First I was trying to think of like I don't think a penis can expel gash, and then the things I don't think there isn't no that happens. There isn't like, yeah, I got out of everybody by what did you call it? A pief? A peef woo peef. That'd be cool. I'd be a cool T shirt that we could do, or maybe a bumper sticker. Question mark, that's my legacy? Where the pee peef? It's what's for dinner? Listen, here's the thing, caller, and thank you caller for your voicemail. So I I play a great deal of hockey, and people on the bench there are one or two every game where someone's like just beefing. We call farting beefing. We're just who beefs right like. And I think it has to do obviously has to do with what you've eaten that day. But the but the second you fucking the second you fucking like start to move around and your body starts to shift and all your you know, junk gets shuffled up, that expels gas and you just hockey. You're on the skates. And I've never played hockey, but I assume that's more of a glide, So I would think more of with it. You gotta pump, you gotta pump the legs, dude. You it's physical activity. It's like we're not just one seed. Like, but if you're running upstairs, if you're on a StairMaster, there's impact every time that might be shaking one out. I would think that with the hockey, you're just kind of like. Honestly, no, when I when I had a six month old baby that didn't know how to fart, I had to do a bicycle leg motion, and honestly, it's just like it looks just like you're skating. So it's like that's what trying to teach her how to fart, like it just skate. We will move on here. Well, I well, I just I do think it's like about like what you're eating. Probably it's right someone, Yeah, right, yeah, I would think so. I mean, like, look, you have you have a burrito before you exercise. Guess what, friend, it's not gonna work out the way you were probably lactose intolerant. Stop eating a full bowl of milk and cereal before. That's definitely something to look into too. That's I mean, a lot of the my specific issues come from that. If maybe that's tm I, but like that's the reality of the digestive system. Jeff, course, what the what's the caller? Did the caller ask for anything? Did you want a specific reply? Did the caller say like is this normal? Is this natural? Or how do I how do we feel about it? Something doesn't happen to us when we're moving around a lot? Yeah, I mean it has happened to me for sure. It was like stairs, Like every every step up a stair, I'll get a little fird. Yeah, yeah, you're just like there was like my dad loves the story of it. Was my ten year high school reunion in Kansas City, which by way went bag uh you know, fellow Kansas City. Uh. And so he had just started dating a lady and I was really drunk at my ten year high school union and they came to the Power and Light District to pick me up, and they took me back to my dad's place, and I was so drunk that they like had me in the middle. They were doing the Weekend of Bernie's where I was like one arm over his new lady and one over him, and they were like leading me up the stairs to his place, and he said every single step I was just tearing ass. It just started to seeing this girls, like I'm gonna pick up my son first time. I never fart in this SA ten two. I have perfect control over my entire gastrol intestinal program down there. It is all under my design. And uh, yeah, I will fart later, it's scheduled attorady to go. Dan. That scene is like the fucking that scene is the is the opening bit in your pilot, you know, like that's dumber er. Yeah, it's just part of it, Like he said, like when he was getting me to the car from the reunion, I was so drunk that, like, I guess we were walking past an alley and some guy, some giant dude with tons of tattoos, the full sons of anarchy, look the leather, all that stuff, walked by, and I guess I pointed at him while my dad's like half carrying me, and I go, your cup. You always described it as a sphincter, just like completely just sucking up inside his body. It's like, oh God, we're gonna die. Pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay, once again the impossible pivot. Jeff Grubb, please choose a voicemail. Yeah, I want I want some nice cups. Okay, yeahs. Recently I've really gotten into wearing J streaks and now I pots out the top. Is it bad that I'm a primary school teacher? Nah? Got you? Was mad? Fake out secrets hander right, love Secretsander hate buying presents for everybody, but it's great to just buy one for one person. I am copying shit from my whole family, but just wanting cups. We've got a wish the list system. Everybody has seen that the only thing I've put on there was nice cups for my house? What the hell love you is? I'm very confused by this call nice cups? What was the string? I think he said, g string? Oh I think you still said he's got a whale tale? I think and I think that was a joke. That was a bit he was following us. And then he said he the only thing he put on his wish list my phone. Just thought of my pocket on the ground. The way thing he put on his wish list is nice cups. So he's trying to get some family to buy him nice cups. And then he said, what the hell, Jane? If you can translate that any better for us, I would, Yeah, like, is there's something going over our head? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know. Is he getting one on us here? There's there's a secret Santa thing too? I think that he the Secret Santa. Explain that part, yeah right, he said, he think he thinks he wants or he like prefers Secret Santa. So we only have to buy one gift for people, which, of course, who doesn't like a secret Secret Santa? But I'm happy just set it all together. Yeah, we're stun locked here. We're just sort of like we don't know what. We don't know what happened. We don't know where to go from here. Yeah, that was Was that Australian or New Zealand? What do you guys think? We don't know. What do you guys think? I think it was Australian. I'll go with that. I'll go with him. I'm gonna say New Zealand. I'm gonna I'm gonna play the odds. Okay, all right, we'll call her. Please call back and tell us where you're from. He's from Melbourne, Australian. All right, man? That like the nice cups thing I can't find. I'm like, I can't think is there something hidden in there? I mean, well, I thought it was to talk about g string. I thought we were gonna be talking about athletic jockstrap cups, and then my brain was going in that direction, and then he went towards just like the receptacle for liquids and raw cups or something. I thought there was a short undergarments. Yeah, chat seems lost in the sauce too, So I feel like we're okay, well, you know, clarification for the next one. Call us back. We'll get in there and we'll really help you out. It's literally hundreds of different theories about what exactly call I was talking about. It's amazing, all right, it's right, Uh okay, let's do breakfast sandwich bombers. This is Alex from New Jersey. About two questions. One for Jeff Paklar, is it Taylor Ham or is it Corkoral? You know what I'm asking you, cowered? And two, if y'all had a perfect breakfast sandwich, what kind of bread would you put it on? And what is in your sandwich? Thanks? Every good night? Backlar. I know this one too, and I was taught this when I came out here. And no uncertain terms. What is it for you? Well, well, I always love hearing like outside people. I was told from my wife and her family, and no uncertain terms. It is Taylor Ham. So it's a geographical New Jersey thing like that's really just what it comes down to. So I grew up in Central Jersey and for the longest time it was always pork roll. And then when I moved around, I still think you hear. I still think you hear like the same I think you hear. It's interchangeable no matter where you go. Historically though, pork roll is like central and Southern Jersey and then North Jersey is Taylor Ham. So you were told. Yeah, so it wasn't but like it wasn't that much of a contentious issue. Like I think people outside of New Jersey, get me. Yeah, Like I think people outside of New Jersey are more like horny about it than people inside New Jersey. It's just not a thing. I don't know. Maybe it's like the Chicago pizza forsus in New York pizza. It's like Chicago, like they're like, oh, this is a thing. In New York's like, what are you talking about? We don't care. It's we're sort of like a different pizza is clearly better. Yeah. The bigger controversy is whether or not exist there exists a Central Jersey. Like to me, that is the state's are you know? It's not what's I grew up in Central Jersey, so I know, aren't you sitting in a Central Jersey now? Yeah Jersey, Yeah, I'm in. It takes so long to get to your place from North Jersey. Okay, I can we care? Still we were still We're still gonna pick you up. Dan, Just stay right where right where you are. We'll come swing back. We'll swing back around. Don't worry about it down there, worry about North Carolina. The best breakfast sandwich, he was asking for the roles, that is, what bread would you put it on? And then I don't know, you can just describe your best breakfast sandwich. There's nothing better than like a fresh Italian role, okay, like just a nice I don't know what what would you call like? I don't know if that has a specific sort of name. It's just like a regular roll. Like it's not it's like a not a sesame role. Yeah, it's just bread, right and not a there there's a time and a place for the sesame role. That's when you're gonna have, like sam like a meat sandwich. But just give me, like you know, bacon, egg and cheese, salt, not salt, but pepper and ketchup and on lane McDonald's quarter pounder and cheese. Just meat and cheese is not correct? Answered wrong? Better, It's better than any sandwich you can have a breakfast. Dude, Get out of here, out of here. I'll put I'll put whatever on a bagel and call it a sandwich and eat it a breakfast or lunch dinner. I don't care, but yeah, I'll put on like everything bagel with you know, whether it's bacon or one of them like chicken patties. That'll give you a fancy fast food restaurant. Yeah whatever, give me that. But it're not bagel though. I need to know what the wind bag has and it is perfect breakfast. All right, guys, I apologize, but this really struck a nerve. This is one of those ships. Yeah, this is like it is. Okay, here we go. Iron skillet, medium high. Bring it to a medium high, a breakfast sausage patty right in the center, ground pepper. Once it's cooked, flipped a couple twice, and then squeeze it down. Set it to the side of the skillet. Don't take off pad of butter in the middle, egg fried over easy, semihard, cracked pepper on top, a Thomas English muffin toasted until brown. Now here is the very crucial part. Ready, here's how you assemble it. The English muffin obviously on the bottom, mayonnaise and then a couple pieces of onion, thinly thinly sliced sausage on top. Then add egg and then a couple dashes of the tabasco and then you're done. And then that is friends, the perfect egg sandwich. That sounds incredible. Those things sound really good, But you got because you said the word mannaise, even though he totally is fine with mayonnaise. At this point, you just don't know what it is. Then, Yeah, he just forgets you. Like, how much would you how much would you have to get paid to eat that that sandwich? Yeah? I mean, look, it's it's a sandwich. It's not going to be toxic. It's gonna be fine. I'm sure it tastes growth, but growth. How about I say two? I went back to we promisse you to put that in the description of this podcast so people can make it for themselves at home. It is my favorite. I would be so happy. Listen you you can make it one hundred times and you'll never get tired of it. You have to make sure also, make sure that the egg is just just cooked enough that it runs, but not overcooked. Not absolutely. Yeah, and I would be careful when you assemble it because it's gonna squirt, so you might want to puncture it just a little bit before. Yeah, but oh, but I'm really serious. About the is it the way you assemble it. You have to have the mayonnaise onion base under the sausage and then egg and then tabasco because the mayonnaise onion hits the sausage first when you taste it first. If you mix it up, you're gonna get it's just not gonna be as good. Son to this as the wind bag the same. No, this was my my this was my father. My father would make this one for me, right, yeah, mister windbag, Yeah, so call it the mister the windbag Senior. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take two windbag seniors to go, please, that's I always ask for two. You have to eat two, of course, you can't get home here, And don't do don't try and overdo it with like the burger size Thomas English muffin. You're making a mistake. You want the you want the regular size. You want the regular size. Yeah, delicious now I'm hungry, kind of Yeah. You can do it with it, you But those are variations. The variations can be accommodated with bacon or maybe or maybe even links. Recently, I tried it with the sausage links, the maple syrup sausage links but it's but the classic, the real classic. I'm telling you that flavor is. You can't reproduce it anywhere else. All right, I'm glad we've recorded it forever we have. I'm making that. Thank you so much. When back, I'm making that this weekend. Is there anything you can't do? All right? Chat, it was your turn to pick the next voicemail, and Chat chose weird al dot MP three call it in a Fortnite you coward? Oh wow, Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. That's all you gotta say. I mean a separate style that you could edit with the Amish Paradise skin. It would be good. Yeah. I mean it's just like a simple it's a simple request from a simple man. I mean, it's it's just stating what we all have felt inside for so long and someone just finally came out and said it. It's gonna happen. It has to happen. It was, Yeah, it was weird, explain. I was explaining it at this dinner. I was at the other I was explaining, like Fortnite to people in their like late thirty that conversations still have to happen. It still happens, man like they like there is play Fortnite every day, yeah, and so recently, but like, I think there is still a sizeable chunk of the population. I mean, I don't consider people in their mid to late thirties elderly by any sort of stretch, right, like, but like not even like sort of like like they've been curious about this. They've had many years now to have I think a lot. Yeah, I mean there these a lot of these people don't even play games or touch games in any meaningful capacity. But I don't mean are there people fortnite curious still, wouldn't it? I mean, how long would you remain Fortnite curious before you just you know, got into it. I mean, I promise you there's plenty of people who have wanted a ton and have never played it, saying you need they're gonna, like, wait for if it was a president Gerald Ford. Eventually it's gonna get somebody else in. It's very rare that, like I can tell that a video game has really broken into the public consciousness outside of gamers if they do a sketch on s and l about it, because that's a very mainstream show and like they've done a Fortnite sketch before, and it's like I probably on one hand can think of SNL doing straight up video game sketches. Yeah. Hm, okay, you learn a lot today. I appreciate it. Damn We're coming back to you next voicemail. Dude, let's go with uh oh oh wait a second, I'm I'm technically shouldn't it be my Well, you're right, that's right, but I just I don't want to. I just don't. I don't want us to get up on a weird that's back Lars fault. That's Backlars fault. He's really bad at this. You need to order change the order because originally correct. Nope at the top and I'm called it out. Uh shout out EO Wilson and those ants up there, how about that. Let's get a little ant action m either being surfers. I need to ask their real us because the tv us are not giving me straight answer. Ants could use the force like it would all use it together, right, like the colony would just do the one thing together with the not like the ants fighting each other. Right. I know the dogs are excited to guess, but really they're looking more forward Church than the actual quiz. So I don't think it's worth pressing them for it, all right, you guys at church tomorrow. I'm not see church scholar, but I feel like in general, when you see people use the force, they're moving things, like if you're a like six foot tall man, you know, it's it's like it was really hard for Luke to pull the X wing out of the swamp, you know, because it's big and heavy and stuff. So I think it's relative to your size. There was that scene, is that it wasn't relative than that. Yo. It was yelling Adam saying you could do this, doesn't matter what size is. That was the entire point of the scene. But you're going, Dan, that's the point. There was a guy in the game that brought down the Star Destroyer, but you had to be like super duper powerful, right, So I think a standard ant could like push a pebble around with the force, but I don't think an ant could like not over a dude. Not then you were not an expert in the Force or Star Wars, but you are an expert in in ants, which is why I'm surprised that you forgot that answer. I have like proportional strength of like one hundred times their own weight, and so coledy working together building There has to be a limit though well, and the force they're probably not, but what do you think, what is your concern here that they're gonna not gonna be able to lift the next wing? Okay, Darth Vader was super strong, but he couldn't just like grab Alduran and just throw it into the sun. He had to build a fucking robot planet for it. Yeah, I don't think Okay, we don't have to talk about Star Wars. Let's keep it. I have an answer to that question, but we don't have to. Like, let's answer it. He didn't want to throw it like he was. It was great a boff Tarkin that wanted to blow up Alder. He didn't have wouldn't be a cool evil guy. You'd be like, oh, you want to you want to gone, okay, check this out just right now. Then the world nerds would tell you that he had his limbs cut off and wringe of the cysts, so he didn't have as much minidiclorians dudes across the room he had. I don't want to talk about Star Wars. Back him to stop, all right, I have to answer it's I took him. I took an oath, all right, I took an oath like a nerve you make. You make my keyboard ship look so cool when you talk about I gotta tell you, like, holy shit, first paper, we can go deep. Oh, I know, we can go deeper. So these fucking ants, right, let's get back to these first. Thank you? But wait, have animals ever learned the force in Star Wars? Oh? God, you know what it's like there, like a Chewy with the force. Okay, Chewy's. Aren't animals sentient beans? Uh? Yes, absolutely animals unsentient? Well that this is an ant specific question. This is a very ant specific question. This but this just rolled his eyes and was like, oh, chew, he's not an animal, He's not an animal. No, No, it's like a different alien species. They're all aliens, dude. An animal does have to be I think it's an animal if it's not aware that it's it has like a self a bean. Yes, don't even do the paint test Guerrillas, dolphins and elephants if you put the green paint on them and you put a mirror in front of them, which is why that's me. Yeah, why was it like chimps and nursing homes instead of euthanizing them. We don't like because like we're like, oh, that's a bit weird that they seemed to know themselves, so uh okay, usually we do put chimps in nursing. How do they do that? Yes, yeah, we do. We don't need chip nursing homes. I think you can. I probably wouldn't recommend dogs to the elderly to comfort them in their last moments. I would love to go comfort of house full of chimps in their last moments. I'm gonna two hours asleep, and I feel like Dan, it's just a salty me with Dan DUTs right now, I know, I was gonna see. I was so I was so sad when the when the when the chimp nursing homes were shut down during COVID. I was so glad when they opened them back up, right, we really needed those that shot shout out to all the the nurses and that we're working in there. Yeah, for sure. It was just but because like you didn't get to go and visit them, and it was just wondered if you wondered if they were okay. Hey, yeah, yeah, that was a good. No, I was gonna this is a very ant centric question. It's very It's a beautiful question, I have to say, because there is there aren't just like bees. There is no such thing as one ant like one ant. Yes, doesn't isn't anything. And I feel like maybe I'm totally wrong about this, but I think the caller was asking would the would the ants use the force individually or would they use the force as ants on a whole like you says a colony. I think I think it's so like it would be. Yeah. I think I think they would use it as a colony. The ants would use the force as a like they no one individual aunt would use the force, them all working in concert. The force would then be manipulated. Yeah, but ant colonies do go to war with one another. I watched a documentary one and it's like, yeah, they're like there'll be like ten million ants in this colony and like five feet over there and another ten million ants in a different colony, and they'll fight. And I think they would use to force clearly against one another. I think they would be trying to force, push and force electrocute. I think i'd probably get pretty messy pretty fast. Though I want to go back to there not being one ant because I feel like, let's say, if there is scientific purposes, if I took one ant, yeah, and I just went out into just the fields the deserts and set it down, would it it wouldn't have a connection with its friends. It would have just wander the land like David Carraden and Kung Fu like he would be by himself, and that, you know, it would lose It would lose its purpose, it's complete identity. It would become nothing, just like a bead. The same way if they don't have if they don't have a purpose in the high or colony, then they don't. They don't really, they're not anything. They're just like a matter. Try to it would try to survive, right, it would try to find food, and it would just be like a it would be completely lost. Monk. Yeah, I think you're yeah, that's the thing. Ants are like the one of the only animals on Earth that like kind of have the force already, do you know what I mean? Like they kind of do it. That's why this question is not as like, well, it's pretty stupid, but it's it's it's fine. It's fine. Well because the most really, thank you. I think it is the most beautiful. I love this question that just wants to go back to the one where the guy's like, hey, you like beer real good quick, I want more of that, more of that. It's literally impossible, like if there was a really ambitious and independent ant that if you set it off on its own, it would just find a life for itself. Yeah yeah, but pull some stuff up by its on bootstrapped like it really was knowing for it. You know, No, that can't happen. It's not possibly to happen. No, it's not. It's not. There are no there are no like that would require some kind of genetic mutation, but it's not. There are no ants like that. Like answer like ants should be just one thing. You have to look at them as all, like a colony is just one thing. It's that's that is the living organism. Yes, yes, yeah, but they do have individual brains, like it's not like some Star Trek boards, but individuals right, Okay, so they're not like telepathic, they're not community over like, but it is like pheromones and and body language things like that, and if you remove them from the context of those things, the brain part that they do have is like disconnected. It's like pulling out the brainstem or something like that. That's a great way to look at it. It's like, yeah, it's like they lose the Bluetooth connection. It's like yeah, it's yeah, and it's yeah, it's like a laptop without Wi Fi. And now I mean, okay, even that's maybe too much for an ant. It's a record without wrestling. It's just you know, it's just you know, rudderless if you will. Yes, uh man, there are twenty conservatively there are twenty quadrillion ants on Earth. Yeah. I think we've had this conversation because I was thinking about a lot, like there's like more ants, definitely more ants than stars in our galaxy. Like more ants, yeah, I'm saying, And where does grains of sand rank? Yes, easily, because there's more trees on Earth than there are stars in our galaxy. So it's like, yes, there's definitely more sand, grains of sand than stars. Real real quick, before we move, I've just been thinking, are there more bubbles or are there more grains of sand? Bubbles, bubble ocean. I'm saying bubbles in generally get any given moments. The ocean, like imagine bubbles, like imagines bubble in my lungs right now, like any I would be really interested to know the proportion of bubbles to grains of sand. This is like the doors and windows thing. Is there more doors and more windows? Oh yeah, I mean you got to think too that like the amount of fish and everything, like going back to farts, like they are probably farting a lot and causing bubbles there. And bubbles are like bubbles? How many bubbles like in just a I mean there's there's a Yeah, there's tons of bubbles. Why do you have to go there with the bubbles? Man? Foam? I mean eyeballs bubbles? No, not technically, what is the tech think? Like why why are they not? They're because bubbles are liquid, but there's like liquid like eyeballs are good. No, we're not gonna do this. We're not. We're not. I'm not ready to say they're not bubbles, Dan, I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm not ready to say they're not bubbles. Jelly, they're like jelly. There's nothing about it. First of all, No, I I can observe the universe like a normal person. Okay, that's the difference they're not. They're not bubbles like jelly. I think grubs being honest about things. He doesn't know. They're like Bloba t the bubble, the bubba bubbles, so that they're not bubbles either, but bubbles liquid. Right, I ask for bubbles when I go there. Noble guys asking for bubbles in his tea again. But yeah, that's what I asked for and that's what they give me. I think, Almighty, we have to move on. Unfortunately, Dan, it is your turn to pick a voicemail. Let's go with the freezer. Hey, what's your favorite thing you keeping the freezer? Maybe it's alcohol or or like obstacles or ice cream or meat like a lunatic or Betty, like, what's your favorite thing? When you're just like, oh shit, I'm just fuck up some freezer stuff, I'm saying he's ever done that? Okay, we're real quick, Bacalog. Would you be comfortable and please say no if you're not calling Russ frushtick right now and asking him why he keeps bread in the freezer? I could. I'll text them, yeah, text him great? Perfect, Yes, I wanted he opened up an episode of the Bestias, would like keep bread in the freezer, and he never explained to what didn't think that? Yeah, but he was like swearing, how it's so much better, and I'll I mean, I'll also ask him, but it's a better way to keep bread fresh than putting it in the fridge if you have multiple loaves, and that's like the backup on deck bread. Yeah, yeah, if that's the right he was he was suggesting. I think he was like meat you get, Brad, put it right in the freezer, and then well before you eat it, just take it out and then I guess toasted or something. You can make it, okay, Like, yeah, I'll keep a bunch of frozen like good ass, you know, frozen bagels in my freezer and just put them in the bare right, they're so fleeting from this world. You gotta do something with the bagels that you got. You gotta hoard and conserve that, I mean, and then and you given time, I have a dozen everything bagels ready to go an oven. But yeah, I would assume that's the reason, but I will text them on the side. Also just answer this one real quick. Thank you caller as well. The best thing in the freezer I got Reese's peanut butter cups. That's it. Let's say you keep those in the freezer like a gentleman, and you're on You're on your way, and utrageous barbers anything, Reese's, it's good freezer. Sure. My favorite thing in the freezer pretty much year round is for my birthday in June and for Christmas, which is typically in December, my dad sends me Casey Joe's barbecue frozen you can order for like, yeah, wind bag knows it's uh, it's the best barbecue on the planet and they can ship it out to you and stuff. And so I always just have a shitload of burnings and pulled pork. I had it this week, and I'll get a bunch more at Christmas. So I always keep it there and and I wait until I really need it. It's nice, it sounds nice. Finally a normal answer. Uh, Henry, what about you, Bud? All right, well, I'll go with that. Chocolate. I mean chocolate like morsels. Chocolate morsels are so great to have in there, Like you reach in there, you got a handful, and then that's you know, that's a that's a that's a good one. I also just like, let's not forget that if you have the freezer space a snowball mm hmm, if you keep it, if you keep it like if you if you leave, If you keep a snowball in the freezer, it is a It is quite a meditative, you know, like experience to bring it out in the spring or the summer and go, oh my, you know what is time. You know, I've just done that but only thrown it at people, and I felt bad about it because it gets really hard in the freezer cert people. Yeah, you're sit here meditating about existential Yeah, you take it up and you're like, I hurt your head. You know, the seasons have passed and everything is growing once again, you know, and well well Emerson and there. Yeah, yeah, I mean you think about it. I mean like I always love that because then you know, the years passed and you know, summer, and then you bring it out and you're like, my god, oh my god, everything will once again. Yeah that's everything. Yeah, yeah, I love that. What a beautiful moment. I don't have a great brain, so I forget things when I put them in places like the freezer, and so I like to play the things like if I want to surprise myself later so it is gonna be things like your York peppermint patties where're like, I'll eat all those if they're just right there. But if I put in the freezer, uh my, you know, my brain will forget that they're there, and I'll come back later and discoverment. There'll be a nice little surprise. It's like a treat the future, Jeff. So anything that I kind of like, really like, that's what I used to do, this fucking thing. I haven't thought of this in years. When I was in college. Sometimes when I would come home from the ours, like really drunk, to the point where it's like I knew I wouldn't really remember the last moments of the night, I would like prank future sober dan By, Like I would take my keys or my wallet and I would like put it in like the ice tray and the freeze, be like I'm gonna get him. He's gonna wake up like that. I would find it. I God, damn it, I'm an idiot, Like I would prank you. You in a literal mister Hyde situation. Oh my god, that is fucked up, Like even the time, even that's amazing. That is just that's the kind of thing. That's the kind of thing that, like you say in therapy, and that's like the one thing where like, ye, the one thing you say was like, excuse me, I actually have to report this. Yeah, that's troubling in a big way. Thank you for sharing it with our audience. I h I hate freezers. My kitchen freezer has the bottom drawer that you got to like pull out, and I hate it. I hate that design so much because, like you said, it's all the bed. What's that? What's the brand zero? Yeah? No, like it's real bed, and then things get lost in the little areas of it. It's terrible. I hate it. We were lucky enough to get a second basement fridge fridge over Thanksgiving and that's one of those just top storage door boys. And let me tell you, it's been a revelation for me personally. I don't like the bottom drawer thing. We got to figure that out. Have you guys, have you guys seen The Machinist? Yeah of course. Oh no, I don't want to give it. I don't want to give anything away. But that's got some real great freezer subplots. There's freezer action in that movie in a big way. Yeah, we'll get to it. Oh shit, all right, who who you just go grub? I think so, I don't know. I went recently. Yes, yes, you picked freezer. That's right. Okay, so there's your turn me okay, yeah, sure, I don't know. Let's go with the inflation please, Oh okay, pouty dumpers, little contacts. As to the gentleman that saw someone washing their ass, crack, I'm a professional truck driver. I've been doing it two and a half years, and the main thing I wanted to point out is a lot of plays distance inflation has gone up. It used to be ten or twelve dollars to take a shower at a truck stop. Now it's eighteen to twenty five dollars. So for five dollars, would you pay for a shower or wash something and whatnot. Also, it's not uncommon to see people of Eastern descent washing their feet in the sink one at a time, which at first I thought the strange, but they mostly all wear sandals and whatnot. Yeah, that's all I wanted to say, have a good day, guy. Also, it's called a baby white, so there's no real reason to wash her ass in the Saints I mean just five some fus baby white something. He answered it already, you did. I was gonna say, like, because like water isn't effective by inflation, right, Like, so are they're just gouging? Like are they just arbitrarily being like water costs more? Okay? Uh No, it's it is all both inflation and both price gouging, and everything costs what you can get away with charging the dollars worth less in some people's view, so therefore they feel like they can charge more, and people are getting paid more, so you can charge those people more money. It's it's all linked. Yeah, it's all price couching. Yes, and it's all inflation. That's all the same. Great, did did my best? You did your best. It's you're right. Baby wipes, that's the answer your first sitting you if you got a little be like, oh, I gotta get the branded thing that's for me, because I'm a dude and I'm a shameful I don't want to use a baby wipe. I'm not a baby. I'm a man, so I'll use these things that say they're for men. It's like doctor Pepper ten, it's not for yes, exactly, it's not I genuinely think there is like a like a bro ass wipe brands they do, they do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep that in your emergency kit along with the flashlight and the battery jumper, because you never know when you need a butt wipe. For sure, I would take a twenty five dollars shower. I'm the kind of person where I feel like I need someth